Let-Downs On Dating & Job Hunting

Well I haven't started dating yet don't think I am as ready as I thought I was to go out into the world and give my heart to someone else, as it is still hurting. I know its been 2-months but guess what I am saying is, if I am still counting how long I have been hurting from my last break-up then guess I'm not ready to date yet, because I still must be hurting. I want to get on with my life but for some reason can't seem to just do it and move on, I thought if I got out in the work force in a different job things would be better and I would start hanging with other people in return meet men that I would like to date.

Well need-less to say haven't done any of that, thought I had this one job in the bag, in mangment, as they contacted me several times to come back in and talk to them. Then yesterday they offered me a lesser pay position then what I had applied for and it depressed me it must of showed because they turned around not even 30-min. Later called me on my answering Mach. At home and left a message saying they miss-under stood the main office and they didn't have the position they offered me open but would keep my name on file if something else came open. Well needless to say this was like a big slap in the face to me I felt as soon as I said how old I really was and I wasn't sure if I could lift or move stoves and ref. They didn't need me....

Sucks and hurts, well and I cried, worse part is I live in a right to work state and you can lose a job... I found out from (Job-Service) just because you put on the wrong lip-stick if your boss don't like it he don't have to say why he let you go!! It is really scary out there anymore looking for a job and even if you have one you could lose it in a blink of an eye or funding cut, like was what happen to my last job. So just trying to lick my wounds and get back to where I was, so that maybe I will find someone that wants to hire me.

Been thinking about going back to school, but not sure if I can afford to just take that kind of time off to find a better job. But then again if I don't do it my chances anymore it seems the older I get of finding a job will become slim to none. Well I think I am going to take a week or so off from looking and try and figure out what I need to do and if I can do something different....Wish me Luck!!

Learning To Like Me Again

" Hi Just dropping in, to let everyone know I am still doing my blog just taking some time off to do some things I need to do for myself and relax a bit. Been doing a lot of soul searching within myself these last few months since I became a single women again, trying to figure out what happen with my last lover as to not repeat it again with my next..

And what I have found out as a women is that we tend to over look a lot of things men do or make excuse, so as we don't have to be alone. I know a lot of you may say ...Oh I would never do something like that, because I like who I am more then I like the man I'm dating. Not true I feel then you have not met that one man that can make you do or say things that you look back on and say...Where the hell was my head and what was I thinking ????

Think about it and be honest is what I found I had to do, because I looked back and thought? How did I let myself get to this point in my life? Well it didn't happen over night it was a slow process over time that happen so slow that I didn't even see myself changing till I was in over my head and didn't like who I had become...But then came the next phase in this strange thing I did to myself in the name of love!! I thought I could stop it and change back and no one would know or get hurt! WRONG!!

Don't work like that...Wish it did, but it don't. Because then all the fighting starts because your mate likes usually who you've become even if you don't! Then that's when it happens you suddenly figure it out, you were so busy trying to show the man you are with that you love then and want to be a part of their life you become them, over-night it seems like and you didn't even see it till you step back! Then by that time it has become to late ...Least it was for me, the stakes just kept getting higher the move I tried to change back to who I was the move we fought and he wanted me to change more to the things he liked and wanted, and I was confused because I didn't want to lose him but I didn't want to lose who I was also.

So That day we all wish we never had to have happened, and I and my lover parted ways..I was sad, cried licked my wounds and felt sorry for myself. But I had no one to blame but me, because I allowed it to get to the point it did and I gave control of me away to someone else all in the name of love. Which is not really love if you think about it, because I should of and have now learned you need to love yourself first and never let go of it. Then only with this part of your life in control then you will be able to let someone else in to love them too!!

Any way I have done a lot of looking at myself and learning to take better control of who I am and what I want in life, and I need to keep reminding myself I come before anyone else does always, and never ever ! Feel I should put my feelings on the back burner, for anyone or any man, unless I am wanting to be where I was a few months ago again.

I'm ready now I think to start looking to date again, but being very careful and picky about who I go out with because I need to take care of me first. And let those I date know, that I come before we always if they choose to date me!!

I Wasn't Cheating I Was Sleep -Walking

sleepdisorder;"Australia - A woman seduced and had sex with strangers while she slept and later had no recollection of her infidelities due to a sleeping disorder. The middle-aged woman had no idea that she was sneaking from her house at night in search of sex with random strangers until her partner awoke, discovered she was missing from the bedroom, and found her having sex with another man. Her partner was already aware that she was a sleep walker and also had been confounded by condoms he found strewn around the house. "It is very complex, elaborated motor behavior during sleep, people are often stunned and overwhelmed when they're told what they've been doing."The partners and doctors of people suffering from the disorder often do not believe the acts were committed while they slept,"It's very stressful both for them, for their partner or for their relationship," Scientific Sleep Doctor's say. "It also promotes an intense sense of embarrassment on their part, their partner's behalf and this inhibits people coming forward to seek potentially helpful professional intervention.I guess I don't really buy this one!! But if anyone can prove me wrong and make me believe it..I'm game! But then again ? Sometimes I wish I could just sleep walk in to some sexy guy's bed and have some fun and then leave and pretend I don't remember crawling in his bed if I get caught. But remember what I did while I was there in my mind, as long as it was some good Loving...lol...( I know Shame on me!!...Can't help myself just a nasty women)"

Women Want A Better Sex-Life

Testosterone Patch;" (TTP) therapy is well tolerated and significantly increases sexual activity and desire while decreasing personal distress in women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder, according to the results. HSDD is a medical condition for women that is specifically defined as decreased desire associated with personal distress. Results at 24 weeks showed that TTP therapy significantly increased the frequency of "totally satisfying" sexual episodes compared with placebo. TTP therapy was well tolerated. "The only adverse events we saw that were slightly more likely in testosterone-treated women were slight increases in acne and facial hair," Dr. Shifren noted, adding, "These were very mild.
"We saw statistically significant improvement in our primary end point for the study, which was the amount of totally satisfying sexual activity at 24 weeks, in testosterone-treated women as compared to placebo-treated women," said Dr. Shifren. "It's really a very exciting study; it's truly the first time that transdermal testosterone has been shown to significantly increase sexual function in women in a large controlled trial," Dr. Shifren pointed out. "The interesting thing...Was that everything became significant early; the arousal, the return of desire, the number of satisfactory sexual encounters that they had, and the decrease in distress could all be seen at four weeks, and this really amazed me, an increase in self-image as well," Dr. Nachtigall said. Noted the clinical advantages of being able to tell patients to expect improvements in four weeks that will peak soon after and then remain stable over a six-month period. "This is a whole change in lifestyle," she pointed out. "I think four weeks is excellent, anticipates U.S. Food and Drug Administration approval of TTP therapy for women with HSDD. "Once it's approved, it will be a very useful, "There's a lot more distress over decreased libido than we knew.Okay Ladies it's time for us to have some fun too!! So we all need to go see our doctors and get something to make what men do fun for us too...Each and everything and then some. Okay even if your one of those few ladies who says you don't have a problem in this dept., well maybe this will help a girlfriend you know....Its worth a try...Think I'll check into it as I just entered the dating field again....LOL"